Welcome To Carousel
If you haven't seen Logan's Run, you might have a little trouble following part of this. For those who need it, here is a very quick summary.
Logan's Run is a movie set somewhere in the future where people live in a mythical city run by unseen bureaucrats. Nobody lives past 30. On reaching 30, citizens must take themselves to Carousel, where, presumably, they are "recycled", to return again as infants and start life all over again.
As a gay man in New York, I understand the concept of being considered dead at 30.
Continuing on, some rebels don't believe the recycling is real, and instead run to escape Carousel. Logan is an undercover cop who penetrates the resistance to arrest the runners, but instead learns the truth and helps to expose the lie of Carousel and destroy it... thus allowing everyone to live past 30 and happily ever after.
He should have left well enough alone.
When I was a child, we had a family friend named Jerry. On Jerry's refrigerator was a piece of paper with a mystery date written on it. Nobody knew what it meant. Not his family or friends. Not even his wife. People theorized it might be the date he wanted to retire... Or when he hoped to have his house paid off... Or when he might take some long discussed vacation. Jerry never divulged the secret.
Years passed, and when that day finally arrived, Jerry got up very early in the morning, got dressed, went out to the garage and started his car. And stayed there. His wife found him hours later. The mystery date was the date Jerry had chosen years earlier to make his exit.
In going through his letters and notes, people learned that Jerry had realized the time would come when he would have done everything he wanted to do, and would face only boredom. He would have sold enough cars in his life so that it was no longer a thrill. He would have seen his children graduate from school, marry and have their own children. He would have fought in wars and seen any parts of the world he wanted to see. He would have buried enough of his friends and family to know he didn't want to be the last man standing. He decided the choice of when to leave would be his.
Friends and family were aghast. They were stunned and angry. I was in awe. I applauded him for seizing control of his own existance and refusing to allow anything or anybody to make what would be the ultimate and last decision of his life for him. I have never forgotten it.
My parents died of cancer in their 50's. Three of their parents and two siblings died in their 50's as well, of heart disease.
Owing to heredity, knowing I am predisposed to both, I have lived my life with the idea (though not necessarily the intention or goal) of dying relatively young. I have not saved a tremendous amount of money over the years. I buy what I want. I go where I want. I make life decisions based not on what they will mean for me when I am 60, but what they will mean 60 minutes from now.
Carousel gave people the same opportunity that Jerry's mystery date did. It forced them to live life now. It removed the temptation to put off joy or love or excitement. It forced people to realize that time is finite and there is no reason not to do what you want when you want it, rather than waiting for a "better time". It also forces you to make good decisions, because the chances to compensate for bad ones are limited.
My biggest fear is not dying. That is... I'm afraid I'll live way too long. I don't want to outlive my ability to afford living or my friends or my interest in what comes next. I don't have the courage to put a date on my refrigerator. Even if I did, I own neither a garage nor a car. Carousel would make it all a lot easier.
For irony sake, they could even put it in Chelsea.
Logan's Run is a movie set somewhere in the future where people live in a mythical city run by unseen bureaucrats. Nobody lives past 30. On reaching 30, citizens must take themselves to Carousel, where, presumably, they are "recycled", to return again as infants and start life all over again.
As a gay man in New York, I understand the concept of being considered dead at 30.
Continuing on, some rebels don't believe the recycling is real, and instead run to escape Carousel. Logan is an undercover cop who penetrates the resistance to arrest the runners, but instead learns the truth and helps to expose the lie of Carousel and destroy it... thus allowing everyone to live past 30 and happily ever after.
He should have left well enough alone.
When I was a child, we had a family friend named Jerry. On Jerry's refrigerator was a piece of paper with a mystery date written on it. Nobody knew what it meant. Not his family or friends. Not even his wife. People theorized it might be the date he wanted to retire... Or when he hoped to have his house paid off... Or when he might take some long discussed vacation. Jerry never divulged the secret.
Years passed, and when that day finally arrived, Jerry got up very early in the morning, got dressed, went out to the garage and started his car. And stayed there. His wife found him hours later. The mystery date was the date Jerry had chosen years earlier to make his exit.
In going through his letters and notes, people learned that Jerry had realized the time would come when he would have done everything he wanted to do, and would face only boredom. He would have sold enough cars in his life so that it was no longer a thrill. He would have seen his children graduate from school, marry and have their own children. He would have fought in wars and seen any parts of the world he wanted to see. He would have buried enough of his friends and family to know he didn't want to be the last man standing. He decided the choice of when to leave would be his.
Friends and family were aghast. They were stunned and angry. I was in awe. I applauded him for seizing control of his own existance and refusing to allow anything or anybody to make what would be the ultimate and last decision of his life for him. I have never forgotten it.
My parents died of cancer in their 50's. Three of their parents and two siblings died in their 50's as well, of heart disease.
Owing to heredity, knowing I am predisposed to both, I have lived my life with the idea (though not necessarily the intention or goal) of dying relatively young. I have not saved a tremendous amount of money over the years. I buy what I want. I go where I want. I make life decisions based not on what they will mean for me when I am 60, but what they will mean 60 minutes from now.
Carousel gave people the same opportunity that Jerry's mystery date did. It forced them to live life now. It removed the temptation to put off joy or love or excitement. It forced people to realize that time is finite and there is no reason not to do what you want when you want it, rather than waiting for a "better time". It also forces you to make good decisions, because the chances to compensate for bad ones are limited.
My biggest fear is not dying. That is... I'm afraid I'll live way too long. I don't want to outlive my ability to afford living or my friends or my interest in what comes next. I don't have the courage to put a date on my refrigerator. Even if I did, I own neither a garage nor a car. Carousel would make it all a lot easier.
For irony sake, they could even put it in Chelsea.
posted by Bill at
8:49 AM
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